LJ/DW media fandom has been the first time I've really participated in an online community. This month marks three years since I created an LJ, but I mostly lurked for the first twelve months, so my period of active participation really only extends back for two years.

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One thing that I like about being a guy in LJ/DW fandom is that I can't take for granted that I have a clear and secure place in every conversation, or feel confident about how to enter into those conversations and participate in them. It's not that LJ/DW fandom is the only place in my life where that applies, but in other contexts that uncertainty is temporary and situational; here, for me, it's foundational and structural.

And what I found here is that I make mistakes. Sometimes people tell me that I've made a mistake, sometimes I figure that out on my own, a lot of times I'm not sure, and other times I probably never realized that I made a mistake at all. Some of my mistakes have stemmed from not thinking about my words from someone else's perspective; some of them have come from being inappropriately glib; some of them have come from arrogance, or ignorance, or just a self-serving desire to be part of a conversation regardless of whether I had anything to contribute. And sometimes my mistakes are in not saying anything.

And of course I make all of those mistakes elsewhere in my life, but the experience of participating in a community that is both online plus predominantly female has sensitized me to them differently. I can't say that it's actually translated into me making fewer mistakes yet, but it has giving me more insight into how and when and where I make mistakes, and what I can do about it. And then I think about how "making fewer mistakes" is setting the bar pretty low, and I want to do and be more and better than that.

At any rate, thanks to everyone who's been part of my time in LJ/DW fandom so far -- you're pretty damn fantastic.