So it's only been a few days, but I am already having misgivings about following reality show demi-celebrities on Twitter. Do I want to know that one of the choreographers/guest judges on So You Think You Can Dance is going through a very bad breakup? And that the show's executive producer called him and "may have saved [his] life"? And that one of his fellow choreographers/guest judges encourage people to Tweet their love and support for his heartbroken colleague, but I didn't, and should I feel guilty now?

In other SYTYCDverse Tweets, one of last year's contestants is falling in love, and they don't want to be falling in love, and they're angry at the person who made them not want to fall in love again, and wow I'm feeling creepily voyeuristic now.

I am also following on Twitter someone purporting to be the sister of Heidi Montag, yet I suspect an impersonator. Should I alert the authorities? Who are the relevant authorities for celebrity realness?

On the television front, following a dangerous flirtation with Jon & Kate Plus 8 and I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here!, I made my triumphant return to scripted drama spectatorship last night. My rescue from the flotsam and jetsam of reality TV came in the form of Australian navy series Sea Patrol, which is just as good as it sounds. But also just as good as it needs to be, considering that the episodes feature pirates, offshore brothels, and the occasional rogue monkey. Go, Sea Patrol, go!